RELOCATION PART IV: THE SACRIFICE
Staying together is not easy for the careerist husband and wife. My wife had never stayed anyplace alone in her life (neither did I). So the thoughts of living in separate countries because of the job never came.
But it was tough for me to resign from this settled job in a multinational in Bangladesh, with a compensation package of over $10k pa, which is considered more than enough to lead a decent life in Bangladeshi standard.
Moreover you have certain responsibilities to you ageing parents, to look them after, to be with them when they need you. As we have lived with the parents as per the local tradition, my 17 month old daughter had the best care from them and returned them many little happy moments with laughter and noises. Rianna will miss them and especially my sister, which gives her so much care and comfort. We will miss them too. I just can’t imagine how hard it would be for us to live away from them. Although it’s relieving that they have properties here and are not dependent on me. And I have responsibilities to my toddler too as she needs her parents most.
So what’s the dilemma here? The only thing that bugs me is to answer the question “What are you going to do there? Your career is ending here. Your parents need you.” So one can utter the word sacrifice for me here but I think the right word would be support. We see many successful women like our Prime Minister Begum Khaleda Zia and ex-Prime Minister Sheikh Hasina but never ponder about the people behind them. They are someone else’s wife and mother and they have faced much more difficulties in life because of their public engagements. They have probably given them more support than in my case.
The only consolation is that S is taking her mother, who lives alone in Dhaka. It’s mutually beneficial as she needs our company more than we need her (to take care of our little daughter and ourselves!). There were complications in getting her visa and S had to literally convince the visa authorities that it is an Asian custom that a widow becomes dependent of her son or daughter. We don’t have social security or old homes here!
RELOCATION PART I: THE NEWS
RELOCATION PART II: THE BACKGROUND
RELOCATION PART III: WHY GERMANY
RELOCATION PART V: THE CHALLENGE