SOCCER IS LIKE LOLLYPOP

Even though soccer is very popular in the Arab world, Iraqi insurgent lord Muqtada al-Sadr thinks otherwise. Omar of 'Iraq the model' transcribes this from one of his latest videos:

Habibi the west made things for us that distract us from our integration, uh, what it put for us? Made us run after a ball habibi…that is like 'eat gargary (lollypop)' habibi.
What does it mean to see a man, big tall and wide and…Muslim, runs after a ball?
This is one, the second thing and more important from that; we find that the west, and especially Israel…er, habibi the Jews, have you seen them play football?

Hmm, seems like quite a conspiracy.

Meanwhile 'the religious policeman' reveals more conspiracy against the Saudi Arabian team, which will participate in the upcoming world cup in Germany. They are scheduled to be housed on a hotel in the resort town Bad Nauheim and full arrangements have been made to make the Saudis comfortable. But looking at the menue, the hotel can be termed as "Der Palast des Schweins!" (The palace of the pigs), which can distract the Saudis (pork is a taboo in Islam). And yet there are more temptations. Der Spiegel reports:

Europe's largest brothel, the Pascha in Cologne, which incidentally claims to be the world's only brothel with a money-back guarantee for dissatisfied customers, attached the flags of all 32 nations competing in the World Cup to its façade in a bid to demonstrate international flair and attract custom during the tournament this summer.

And don't think the holy warriors had let them get away that easily:

"On Saturday night there were 20 masked men armed with knives and sticks. They threatened to get violent and even bomb the place unless we black out the Iranian and Saudi Arabian flags on the poster." -Pascha's manager.

You see it must have been a Jewish conspiracy to disrespect the Prophet Muhammad and the Muslims and they resisted that.

So must you run after a ball? Why not go swimming, horse riding or fencing which are favored by the religion?